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Managing the Emotions Surrounding Layoff Conversations: The Hard Truth Nobody Wants to Hear

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Here's something that'll ruffle a few feathers: most managers are absolutely terrible at handling layoff conversations because they're more worried about their own emotional comfort than doing right by their employees.

I've sat through enough redundancy meetings in my 18 years consulting across Melbourne and Sydney to know that 73% of managers handle these conversations like they're discussing the weather forecast. Cold, clinical, and completely missing the human element.

The Uncomfortable Reality

Let me be blunt about something. The traditional HR approach of having these conversations on Friday afternoons is complete rubbish. You know what happens? People go home, stew over the weekend, and come back Monday either furious or completely checked out. Smart companies like Telstra and Qantas have started moving these conversations to Tuesday mornings. Give people time to process, ask questions, and start planning their next move while support systems are still available.

But here's where I'm going to lose some of you - I actually think layoffs can be handled with genuine care and respect. Controversial? Maybe. But I've seen it done right, and the difference is extraordinary.

What Most People Get Wrong

The biggest mistake? Managers think they need to be emotionless robots during these conversations.

Wrong.

Your employees aren't idiots. They can sense your discomfort from across the room. That fake corporate smile isn't fooling anyone, and it's actually making the situation worse. I learned this the hard way back in 2019 when I had to let go of three brilliant team members during a client's restructure. Tried to keep it "professional" and ended up sounding like a recorded message.

One of them called me out on it right there in the meeting. "Andrew," she said, "you look like you're about to throw up. This sucks for all of us, so can we just acknowledge that?"

Game changer.

The Emotions You're Actually Dealing With

People think layoff conversations are just about delivering bad news. They're not. You're managing a complex web of emotions - theirs and yours.

Their emotions: Shock, anger, fear, betrayal, relief (yes, sometimes relief), confusion, and often a weird kind of gratitude if you handle it well.

Your emotions: Guilt, anxiety, frustration with upper management, fear of confrontation, and probably some anger about having to clean up someone else's mess.

The trick isn't eliminating these emotions. It's acknowledging them and working with them instead of pretending they don't exist.

I remember one session where a manager told me she felt like she needed to justify the company's decision. Spent twenty minutes explaining market conditions and cost pressures. The employee just sat there getting more and more agitated. Finally interrupted with, "I don't need a business lecture. I need to know when my last day is and how much notice pay I'm getting."

Fair point.

What Actually Works (From Someone Who's Been There)

Start with humanity. "This is a difficult conversation for both of us" beats "We need to discuss your employment status" every single time.

Be direct but not brutal. "Your position is being made redundant, and today will be your last day" is clear. "Unfortunately, due to operational requirements, we've made the difficult decision to restructure the department, which means your role has been identified as surplus to requirements" is corporate waffle that makes people want to punch walls.

Shut up and listen. After you deliver the news, stop talking. Let them process. Let them ask questions. Let them vent if they need to. Some of the best layoff conversations I've witnessed involved managers saying very little and employees saying a lot.

Have practical information ready. Reference letters, contact details for outplacement services, details about unused leave entitlements. Don't make them chase you for this stuff later.

The Follow-Up Nobody Talks About

Here's something that might surprise you: the conversation doesn't end when they leave the building. How you handle the aftermath affects your remaining team more than you realise.

I worked with a Perth-based company last year where the CEO made a point of personally checking in with every laid-off employee two weeks later. Not to discuss coming back (although one did), but just to see how they were going. Word got back to the remaining staff that he'd done this.

Morale didn't just recover. It actually improved.

Compare that to another client where management went radio silent after the layoffs. Remaining employees spent months wondering if they were next and started updating their CVs immediately.

The Mistakes That Keep Me Up at Night

The email layoff. I've seen this twice. Both times it was a disaster. Don't be that person.

The group layoff. "We're letting everyone in this room go." Efficient? Maybe. Humane? Absolutely not.

The false hope layoff. "This might not be permanent" when you know it absolutely is. Stop it.

The blame game. Don't throw upper management under the bus, even if they deserve it. You represent the company in that moment.

What the Research Actually Shows

Studies from Griffith University suggest that employees who feel respected during layoff conversations are 43% more likely to speak positively about their former employer. They're also more likely to return if opportunities arise later.

But here's the kicker - managers who handle these conversations well report significantly less stress and guilt afterward. Taking care of your people takes care of you too.

The Bottom Line

Managing emotions during layoff conversations isn't about being perfect. It's about being human. Your employees deserve honesty, respect, and practical support. You deserve to feel like you've handled an awful situation with dignity.

Most importantly, your remaining team is watching how you treat people on their worst day. That tells them everything they need to know about your character and your company's values.

Some conversations will go well. Others won't. That's not always on you.

But showing up with genuine care and respect? That's always on you.

Andrew has spent over 15 years helping Australian businesses navigate workplace challenges, from small family operations to ASX-listed companies. He believes that treating people well isn't just good ethics - it's good business.